Dating Darcy?

têtière February 2014 143 11.55 pm. Saturday night. There’saparty going on, and you’re smack in the middle of it. It’s loud, it’s awesome, there’s plenty of food and your glass of wine mysteriously never empties. But are you happy with what your man is up to? Is he the enigmatic centre of the room,steering all eyeballs in his direction?Or is he emulating his inner Mr Darcy, hopefully without the white tights and cravat? Look closer. The way your man behaves can be very telling of your love life to come. 1Ifhe’smo st likely to say:“Hi.How areyou?Next!”

That Makeshim: The social butterfly He flits around faster than a LSD-injected moth to a psychedelic flame. Like a desperate train attempting to hit all stops in recordbreaking time, your man darts from one person to another, never halting for anything longer than a couple of minutes’ worth of conversation.

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“This is the classic extrovert. It’s easy for him to mingle in a crowd,” says Varkha Chulani, relationship expert. While according to Dr Thegoodlife 144 February 2014 Vandana Tara, senior consultant, clinical psychology, Moolchand Medcity, “This type of person seeks external stimulation constantly.”

This explains the continuous motion. What it means for your relationship: “If you are with this man, you need to be very self assured. He is likely to leave you high and dry, even though he might not mean to,” Chulani explains. He’s not trying to hurt you, it’s just who he is. So if you’re a social butterfly too, you have the chops to deal with him. Otherwise, once he moves on to the next person, you should too.

That makes him:The phone hog If Mr Darcy had a smart phone, you just know he’d be tinkering with one at every party. Your man spends the entire evening texting, emailing, looking at his Facebook page… It’s almost as if he’d rather be anywhere but here. He’s not here to mingle. Or so he will make it appear. If there’s always something better out there for him… does that include you? What it means for your relationship: “He could be insecure and uses the virtual world as a means of escapism,” says Chulani. It’s challenging for him to deal with real people, which is where the phone comes in. It’s his shield. Dr Tara feels poor social skills might be the real cause of his aloofness. So, things could be better on a one to one basis, which is your relationship. “However, it’s also possible he’s just got poor social etiquette,” says Chulani. So it could be a case of plain bad manners. That would make him an inconsiderate, neglectful partner. In that case, just press delete.

That makes him: Mr popular Maybe he’s highly accomplished, maybe he’s good looking, maybe his dad’s gym buddy’s daughter went to school with Ranbir Kapoor. But everybody wants a piece of him. He’s got a long list of admirers and they’re all clambering for his attention. “This man has the social skills that make people flock to him,” says Chulani. “He’sanatural charmer who doesn’t have to try too hard.” What it means for your relationship: “This easy going nature of his works well for a relationship. “He will be able to have healthy and balanced connections,” says Dr Tara. He’s têtière February 2014 145 confident, secure and comfortable with who he is. What more could a girl ask for? 4If he’s most likely to say: “Hey, who wants to see me juggle wine bottles with this lampshade on my head?”

That makes him: The party clown Your man always has a trick up his sleeve, a joke in his pocket and a funny anecdote on the tip of his tongue. But his attempts for constant attention could go a tad too far. Especially if you are slow dancing, and he’s making fart noises behind your back. “This is classic attention seeking,” says Chulani. “And since he can’t get it the regular way, he chooses this kind of exaggerated method.” He’sajoke junkie, this one. But what happens when things start getting serious? What it means for your relationship: This type of boyfriend could be very narcissistic by nature, feels Dr Tara. The relationship will be all about him and his many histrionics. So if you’re not laughing with him, it’s time to rethink.

That makes him:The constant complainer. Nothing is good enough for this guy. He’d probably go to Buckingham palace and whine about how, “This place has too many rooms.” He wants everything to be perfect. So instead of letting go at a party, he’s already found ten new topics to stress about even before his first drink has been poured. “This person has not been trained in the art of frustration tolerance,” says Chulani. “The glass is always half empty for him.”

What it means for your relationship: This behavior can well find its way into your relationship too. “You’ll find yourself unable to grow as his constant criticism will get you down,” says Dr Tara.

Let this one go, and you’re be certifiably insane. This guy will make sure you’re having as much fun a she is.Heknowsyou.He’stuned into the nuances of what makes you, you. This makes us and all the women around you kind of hate you, but you should be pretty pleased. What it means for your relationship: “This kind of person is affectionate, considerate and proactive about taking responsibility,” says Chulani. “He’s well aware he’s not single. And doesn’t try to hide it.” In other words, if you’ve got him, you’ve hit a jackpot. Why would you let him go?

Dean and Dan Caten in their Milan office.

The Goodlife 146 February 2014